The Dark Cupboard

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.

After a little while the little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything let alone from a little boy says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a football."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "250 pounds"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have football boots."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "OK How much this time?"
Boy - "750 pounds"
Man - "Sold."

A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, "Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer. The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" 
Boy - "To a friend of mine for a 1,000 pounds."
The father says, "That's a terrible thing to do, overcharging your friend like that". That's four times what they cost when they were new, I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your terrible sin."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here".
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again you little prick, you're in my f...... cupboard now"!