Pope

The Pope was on a visit to New York to speak to the General Assembly at the UN. The Secretary General was to pick him up personally at the airport but, being detained by some crisis or another, sent his personal limo on ahead instead.

The driver held up a sign that simply said "Pope" and explained to the Pope what had happened and that he was there to take him to UN headquarters. He invited the Pope to sit in the back of the limo. The Pope got in and, boy, was he impressed: 9 yard leather seats, one-way tinted glass, Dom P. on ice, air conditioning, sliding sun roof, stereo, television with satellite dish, computer and fax machine, magic fingers under the seat, all of the comforts.

Then the Pope saw the driver: Walkman headphones on, wrap around Raybans, leather racing gloves, elbow out the window, wind blowing in the hair, and so on.

The Pope knocked on the glass and said: "My good man, I have a proposition for you. I bet you have never sat back here before and I have never driven one of these things before so, what do you say, shall we trade places? You come back here and let me drive?"

The driver resisted at first but eventually agreed. He pulled over to the curb, go out, let the Pope behind the wheel and settled into the back with the bottle of bubbly.

The Pope adjusted the mirrors, put on the headphones, turned up Tina Turner, stuck his elbow out the window and stuck his foot in it: 80 mph, 100, 120, settled in at 140 mph and flew right past a motorcycle cop.

The cop switched on the overhead, gave chase and, with much difficulty, finally pulled the limo over about two miles down the road. He swaggered over to the driver side, rapped on the window and started to say: "Look buddy, what in the holy crap do you think you are...." and he saw the Pope behind the wheel.

He went back to his motorcycle and got the shift sergeant on the radio.

He said: "Sarge, Mullaney here, look I have pulled over this limo here on 47th Street for speeding and we got a problem. It's a VIP."

The sergeant said: "OK Mike, I understand, tell me. Just how important is he? Is he, for instance, more important than the Chief of Police?"

Mullaney said: "Yes Sarge, more important than the Chief."

"Alright", said the Sergeant, "is he more important than, say, the Mayor?"

Mullaney said that he was even more important than the Mayor.

The Sergeant asked: "The Governor?" and Mullaney answered: "Yes, Sarge, more important than the Governor even."

The Sergeant said: "But, surely, not more important than the Senator?" Mullaney replied that this VIP was much more important than even the Senator.

The Sergeant began to be a bit worried and asked: "God man, you didn't stop the President of the United States did you?"

The cop said: "No sir I didn't, but this man is even more important than the President."

The sergeant said: "More important even than the President of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA? Then tell me, who is it?"

The cop said: "Well Sarge, I can't rightly say who he is but I can tell you this. His driver is the Pope!"