During lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I
know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and
exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner
tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner
table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned
and went to answer the call.
The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I
seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was
not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around
me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The
stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for
another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable!
Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom,
so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my
lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with
myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence,when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peaked through
the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the
blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands
to their noses, chorused: "Happy Birthday"...
No comments:
Post a Comment