Guys

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Wrinkles add character.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

One mood, ALL the time.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.