A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce.
Lawyer: Have you any grounds?
Client: Yes, an acre and a half, a nice little home.
Lawyer: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
Client: It is made of concrete.
Lawyer: I don't think you understand.
Lawyer: Does either of you have a grudge?
Client: No, we have a carport, and not need one.
Lawyer: I mean, what are your relations like?
Client: All my relations still in Poland.
Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Client: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?
Client: No, I always up before her.
Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?
Client: No, she white.
Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?
Client: She is going to kill me.
Lawyer: What makes you think that?
Client: I got proof.
Lawyer: What kind of proof?
Client: She is going to poison me.
Client: She bought a bottle at a drugstore and put it on shelf in bathroom.
Client: I can read, and it says 'Polish Remover'
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