Cows in the real world

Bushism:
You have as many cows as you like. You preach to others not to have any.

Clintonism:
You have two cows. But you milk your neighbours' cows.

Musharrafism:
Nawaz Sharif has two cows. Take them over.

Osamaism:
You have two cows. You convert them into biological weapons.

Talibanism:
You have two cows. You put them in purdah.

UNism:
You have two cows. You don’t milk them; you only lecture to them.

Socialism:
You have two cows and you give one to your neighbor.

Communism:
You have two cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism:
You have two cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism:
You have two cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism:
You have two cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away.

Traditional Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

An American Corporation:
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A French Corporation:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A Japanese Corporation:
You have two cows. You redesign and re-engineer them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times more milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them worldwide

A German Corporation:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A British Corporation:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

An Italian Corporation:
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Russian Corporation:
You have two cows. You count them and learn that you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 32 cows. You count them again and learn you have only two cows. You stop counting cows and open a bottle of vodka.

A Chinese Corporation:
You have two cows. You have 200 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the news reporter who published the facts