Stock Market Dictionary for the past year investor:
- Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
- Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
- Broker - Poorer than you were last year.
- P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing.
- Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell.
- Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
- Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
- Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
- Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
- Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
- Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
- Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
- Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.
- Cisco - Side kick of Poncho.
- Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540 per share.
- Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $540 per share.
- Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.
- Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.
- Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.
- Alan Greenspan - God.
- Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
- Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
- Broker - Poorer than you were last year.
- P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing.
- Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell.
- Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
- Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
- Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
- Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
- Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
- Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
- Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
- Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.
- Cisco - Side kick of Poncho.
- Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540 per share.
- Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $540 per share.
- Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.
- Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.
- Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.
- Alan Greenspan - God.
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