On his way home from work recently, my husband came upon a "Road Closed" sign. Undeterred, he maneuvered his truck around it and continued on. But he didn't get very far. The pavement ended, giving way
to another, larger sign: "What Part of 'Road Closed' Didn't You Understand?"
As he reviewed pilot crash reports, my Air Force military science professor stumbled upon this understated entry: "After catastrophic engine failure, I landed long. As I had no power,the landing gear failed to deploy and no braking was available. I bounced over the stone wall at the end of the runway, struck the trailer of a truck while crossing the perimeter road, crashed through the guardrail, grazed a large pine tree, ran over a tractor parked in the adjacent field, and hit another tree. Then I lost control."
A woman walked into our copy shop to pick up a large order. While there, she asked me to make a copy of her driver's license,birth certificate and passport. When I gave her the total price, she asked if she could pay with a personal check."Sure," I said automatically."I just need to see some ID."
The guest speaker at our training sessions for correctional officers was a leading psychologist. We appreciated the fact that he was able to answer in plain English a question many of us had: What is the difference between someone who is delusional and someone who is schizophrenic?
"Delusional people build castles in the air," he explained. "Schizophrenics move in and live there."
My colleagues and i recently received this e-mail from the facilities department: "Due to construction, your office may be either cooler or warmer than usual on Tuesday. Dress accordingly."
While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an x-ray technician.
"Have you ever broken a bone?" he asked.
"Yes," the girl replied.
"Did it hurt?"
"No."
"Really? Which bone did you break?"
"My sister's arm."
My father, a gravedigger, was told to prepare for a funeral. But on theday of the service, it was discovered that he had dug up the wrong plot. Luckily for him, the deceased's daughter was very understanding."Poor Dad," she lamented. "He always complained he could never find a parking space." -
to another, larger sign: "What Part of 'Road Closed' Didn't You Understand?"
As he reviewed pilot crash reports, my Air Force military science professor stumbled upon this understated entry: "After catastrophic engine failure, I landed long. As I had no power,the landing gear failed to deploy and no braking was available. I bounced over the stone wall at the end of the runway, struck the trailer of a truck while crossing the perimeter road, crashed through the guardrail, grazed a large pine tree, ran over a tractor parked in the adjacent field, and hit another tree. Then I lost control."
A woman walked into our copy shop to pick up a large order. While there, she asked me to make a copy of her driver's license,birth certificate and passport. When I gave her the total price, she asked if she could pay with a personal check."Sure," I said automatically."I just need to see some ID."
The guest speaker at our training sessions for correctional officers was a leading psychologist. We appreciated the fact that he was able to answer in plain English a question many of us had: What is the difference between someone who is delusional and someone who is schizophrenic?
"Delusional people build castles in the air," he explained. "Schizophrenics move in and live there."
My colleagues and i recently received this e-mail from the facilities department: "Due to construction, your office may be either cooler or warmer than usual on Tuesday. Dress accordingly."
While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an x-ray technician.
"Have you ever broken a bone?" he asked.
"Yes," the girl replied.
"Did it hurt?"
"No."
"Really? Which bone did you break?"
"My sister's arm."
My father, a gravedigger, was told to prepare for a funeral. But on theday of the service, it was discovered that he had dug up the wrong plot. Luckily for him, the deceased's daughter was very understanding."Poor Dad," she lamented. "He always complained he could never find a parking space." -
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