Beer Plaques

* Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
* Reality is an illusion that is brought upon by the lack of alcohol.
* A woman drove me to drink. I sure regret I didn't get a chance to thank her.
* What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
* One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor.
* Beauty is in the Eyes of the Beer Holder.
* If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
* When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
* Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so if you get wasted all of the time, you'll have the time of your life.
* 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
* Beer is good food.
* It's better to have a beer in the hand than gas in the tank.
* Beer. It's not just for breakfast anymore.
* A beer in the hand beats two in the bush.
* One more drink and I'll be under the host.
* Without question, the greatest invention in the history of Mankind is beer. The wheel was also a fine invention, but it does not go nearly as well with pizza.
* I don't work out. It cuts into my drinking time.
* People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer, they just like to pee a lot.
* I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!
* Draft beer, not people!