Dr. Drobkin was a world-famous cardiologist who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his hometown and then left for Manhattan where he quickly rose to the top of his field. Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference held in his hometown. He walked on stage, placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor.
As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted. The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the lecture room and reverberated it down the hall! He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his hometown again.
Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under the name of Cohen and arrived under cover of darkness. The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Cohen?"
Dr. Drobkin replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here, received my education here, but then moved away."
"Why haven't you visited?" asked the desk clerk.
"Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I've been too ashamed to return."
The clerk consoled him. "Sir, while I don't have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by others. I bet that's true of your incident too."
Dr. Drobkin replied, "Son, I doubt that's the case with my embarrassment."
"Was it a long time ago?"
"Yes, many years."
The clerk asked, "Was it before or after the Drobkin Fart?"
2 blondes
Two blondes were listening to the radio when a commercial for a weight loss program came on. The woman in the ad proudly proclaimed, "I lost six inches using this product!"
Puzzled, one blonde turned to the other and asked "Why would anyone want to be shorter?"
Puzzled, one blonde turned to the other and asked "Why would anyone want to be shorter?"
Next question please
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Wife in bed with another man
Doug brings his friend Bill home from work with him early one day. They come upstairs to find his wife, and there she is in bed with another man.
Doug turns calmly away from the doorway and says to Bill, "Let's go downstairs and have a cup of coffee."
"Uh, okay," agrees Bill so they sit around the kitchen for the longest time, until finally Bill can't stand it anymore. "Doug," he blurts out, "what about the guy upstairs?"
"The hell with him," says Doug. "Let him make his own goddamn coffee."
Doug turns calmly away from the doorway and says to Bill, "Let's go downstairs and have a cup of coffee."
"Uh, okay," agrees Bill so they sit around the kitchen for the longest time, until finally Bill can't stand it anymore. "Doug," he blurts out, "what about the guy upstairs?"
"The hell with him," says Doug. "Let him make his own goddamn coffee."
Rowboat
A man is out with his rowboat when suddenly a passing speedboat raises huge waves and the man's oars fall overboard!
He is stranded out in the middle of the lake! After about 2 hours he sees another rowboat going by with a man and two women in it!
The first man yells "Hey buddy...can I borrow one of your oars??"
The other man yells back "They're not whores...they're my sisters.
He is stranded out in the middle of the lake! After about 2 hours he sees another rowboat going by with a man and two women in it!
The first man yells "Hey buddy...can I borrow one of your oars??"
The other man yells back "They're not whores...they're my sisters.
Beautiful Princess
Once upon a time there was a king who had a beautiful daughter. One day a young prince from a nearby kingdom came by for a visit. That night, after everyone had gone to bed, the prince snuck out of his room and entered the princess' room. She said, "What are you doing in my room? Leave immediately or I will call my father!"
The Prince said, "Don't be frightened. I am not going to hurt you. You are so beautiful. I just want to kiss you and hold you." He kissed her lips and here and there and everywhere. Soon he had gone where no man had gone before.
They were enthusiastically doing the nasty. After he finished, he rolled over and relaxed.
She said, "Wow! That was fun. Let's do it again."
He climbed back in the saddle for seconds. Then again rolled over and relaxed.
She said, "That was so good. We have to do it again." He wasn't very enthusiastic, but he just managed to rise again to the occasion. He then rolled over and again tried to relax.
She said, "Come on, let's do it again." The prince said, "Leave me alone or I will call your father."
The Prince said, "Don't be frightened. I am not going to hurt you. You are so beautiful. I just want to kiss you and hold you." He kissed her lips and here and there and everywhere. Soon he had gone where no man had gone before.
They were enthusiastically doing the nasty. After he finished, he rolled over and relaxed.
She said, "Wow! That was fun. Let's do it again."
He climbed back in the saddle for seconds. Then again rolled over and relaxed.
She said, "That was so good. We have to do it again." He wasn't very enthusiastic, but he just managed to rise again to the occasion. He then rolled over and again tried to relax.
She said, "Come on, let's do it again." The prince said, "Leave me alone or I will call your father."
Fourth-grade teacher
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, so forth. However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Obama elected, but it's just too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids.
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Obama elected, but it's just too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids.
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