* Marriages are made in heaven, but so again are thunder and lightning.
* If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
* Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
* When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
* Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
* Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and is a good cook, but the law allows only one wife.
* Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.
* Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.
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