Polish divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce.

Lawyer: Have you any grounds?

Client: Yes, an acre and a half, a nice little home.

Lawyer: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

Client: It is made of concrete.

Lawyer: I don't think you understand.

Lawyer: Does either of you have a grudge?

Client: No, we have a carport, and not need one.

Lawyer: I mean, what are your relations like?

Client: All my relations still in Poland.

Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

Client: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?

Client: No, I always up before her.

Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?

Client: No, she white.

Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?

Client: She is going to kill me.

Lawyer: What makes you think that?

Client: I got proof.

Lawyer: What kind of proof?

Client: She is going to poison me.

Client: She bought a bottle at a drugstore and put it on shelf in bathroom.

Client: I can read, and it says 'Polish Remover'

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