Interpreting A Police Report

What the report SAID (1), What the report MEANT (2)

(1) While on routine patrol...
(2) I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed.

(1) The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner.
(2) He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN- DON'T FEED THE PIGS"

(1) The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control.
(2) It was raining.

(1) This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant.
(2) It was too hot to ride in the car.

(1) I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner..
(2) The dirt-bag let go with an "Oink" as I walked by.

(1) Knowing the suspect had a criminal history...
(2) He puked on my uniform one night...

(1) The informant is of known credibility and has provided reliable information in the past...
(2) I've got two theft cases hanging over his head...

(1) While being arrested, this subject resisted arrest, and was injured in the act...
(2) He ripped my shirt and broke my new mirrored sunglasses...

(1) The motorist was cited for multiple traffic violations...
(2) I wrote one citation for each swearword he used...

(1) Upon announcing my title and purpose, I heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in" so this writer entered through the door...
(2) The rock music was so loud they wouldn't have heard Patton's army so I kicked in the door.

(1) The members of the press at the scene were offered every courtesy within departmental policies...
(2) I sent then to a non-existent address, which I called the "Command Post."